What a glorious season we are embarking on! Every nut case on the planet wants to be President of the United States. Not only that but they all seem to be all running for the GOP nomination. Here is the current rundown on the contest to move into the White House on January 20, 2013.

Pastor Rick Perry opposes gay people serving openly in the military because “I am a christian.” He opposes it because 'it's like the boy scouts” and he opposes it because 'it is bad public policy' and because President Obama was 'forced to do it by his base.' And, of course, so no one gets the wrong idea it's because he hates the sin but loves the sinner. Is he going to refuse to 'faithfully execute' the law of the land at least with respect basic to equal protection of the law? Aren't his statements about his 'repealing' the current law both a confession of ignorance of Civics 101 and the fact that the Constitution vests all legislative power in the Congress? And isn't it an anticipatory breach of his oath of office? I cannot express the extreme distaste that fills my mouth when I consider the possibility that this gay caballero who is willing to say and do anything in his quest for power and glory will move into the White House.

Crazy Uncle Newt Gingrich comes down from his attic in his mother's house to hold a presser and announces he “will shut down liberal courts” and he will have the Marshall's service arrest judges. This is the same Newt who wants to fire school janitors and replace them with squads of poor kids who could work off their school tuition (and lunch money) that way. Does that mean that the children of newly unemployed school janitors would now take over the family business? Newtie, the serial adulterer, is bound and determined to campaign on a traditional family values kind of platform. One of his three wives will endorsing him at least. Well he says he's done with philandering. My money is still on Newtie to be the nominee.

Lil Ricky “Frothy Mix” Santorum continues to campaign about how Google is screwing with him and how his children now can't read up on their Santorum heritage. Actually what he means is they can't read up on what Frothy Mix wants to portray as his heritage. He continues to campaign while his youngest daughter is seriously ill and perhaps even terminal by some accounts. He apparently believes that he was called by god to run and that god wants him to do this now. It is my personal opinion that Frothy Mix is off his meds but you never know.

And in the god told me class we find the lone female candidate, Crazy Eyes Michelle Bachmann who also believes that god told her to run and to do it now. Perhaps god is simply hedging its bets. God also apparently told her to marry LadyBird Bachmann a therapist specializing in curing gay people of what's 'wrong' with them. If Michelle is god's candidate and is elected this will be the second time in in our history that we have had a 'first spouse' named LadyBird. I am simply enthralled with that prospect.

Willard Romney, Mittens to his friends and golf caddy is a card carrying One-Percenter who feels that drastically cutting government subsidies to poor families won't hurt poor people. I expect his position on that will change eventually. Mittens has been on every possible side of every issue discussed in the GOP campaign for the hearts and souls of the wingnut christianist fringe of the party. He is the inventor of what is now derisively called 'Obamacare' by the GOP and he wants everyone to know that he's opposed to Obamacare now. Mittens also is steadfastly behind One Man One Woman (at a time) definition of marriage ordained by god. This is very refreshing since at least one of Mittens' ancestors was a practitioner (or about to be such) of plural marriage when the family had been chased to Mexico by traditional christianists. It's always nice when a lost sheep returns to the fold and the care of the shepherd. Even though that shepherd has plans to barbecue the sheep.

Ron Paul the reigning champion of 13^th century capitalism is also running for president safely ensconced in his little congressional district somewhere in the bleakness of Texas. Ron Paul's libertarianism has endeared him to many of younger more astute citizens because of his opposition to our military adventures in the Middle East and neighboring stone age countries like Afghanistan (and Pakistan) and by his calls for 'personal freedom' which gladdens the hearts of our nation's marijuana users and of the anti-regulation kooks who believe that any governmental regulation that doesn't touch on protecting “US” from “Them” is null and void because they are inconsistent with the theory of individual sovereignty or something like that. Ron believes selfishness is a cardinal virtue.

John Huntsman is still in the race for the pot metal ring but his problem is he is one of those Liberal Republicans. They are all soon going to either die of old age or be euthanized by the current crop of GOPer diviners of the will of god. So liberal in fact that he managed to become the US Ambassador to our old nemesis the Peoples' Republic of China for the foreign born muslim pretender currently occupying the White House. John Huntsman will soon be passing from the political scene.

The final contestant is Gary Johnson. Mr. Johnson is really a libertarian in GOPer sheik. There are rumors about Johnson but the GOP wont have to listen to those rumors to disqualify him. He favors marriage equality. He holds the sensationalist extreme view any two people should be able to hitch themselves to each other in civil marriage. He served two terms as New Mexico governor and during that time campaigned on the usual libertarian themes of low tax and low regulation and the decriminalization of marijuana and for civil marriage. Those I would think disqualify him for election as president. Gary is Dead on Arrival at the GOPer convention and probably long before then.

I would think the coming election would be a rout if not for the incumbent who has a popularity quotient close to that of a syphilitic leper bent on rape. He owes being in  that pickle in my opinion to himself. He has no one to blame but himself. He is the fellow who has taken beating after beating at the hands of a minority of the Senate because of their insistence on using the threat of the filibuster to bring that august chamber to a halt. He has been led around like a steer with a ring in  his nose by members of the blue dog segment of his own party and by the new majority of the House led by John Boenher of Ohio who have opposed everything including the pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey because by pardoning the damn turkey he was showing the world that he isn't tough enough in his support of  capital punishment and the right of all of us to hold an election and decide who among us will be booted off the island for whatever crime the society now detests the most. Mr. Obama has taken every opportunity not to fight the wingnut crazies but to fall all  overhimmself  in an insane rush to surrender to their nonsense. But on the plus side Mr. Obama worked for and got us a military in which the members enjoy the freedom to live their lives as they want to not having to hide their marriages and pairings from the rest of their comrades. We have an improved and improving health care delivery system that is in the gun sights of the GOP who attempt this winter and spring to have the SCOTUS knock down the law as being unconstitutional. This is going to be an interesting fight because Mr. Obama's most recent appointment to the court, Elena Kagan, has recused herself from any participation in that case because of her prior employment as Solicitor General. It almost makes me think that either the President didn't think the nomination through or was hoping he could come up a 4-4 in the supreme court and therefore no decision on the constitutionality of the Health Care Act.